apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
