Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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