i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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