Sry I called you an 8
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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