tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You are the jesus of drinking
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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