Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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