Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
