I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
