When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I understand Curling. That high.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
