I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Drake has all the answers
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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