I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
