"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
