I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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