I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
