I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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