I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
