Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
