wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
