It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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