Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
