I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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