what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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