If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
