I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
my poor anus
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
