He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
