38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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