i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
