I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
