Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
