Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
why do cheetos always look like penises
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
