I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
