Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can't turn off my feet"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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