you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Success! We fucked roommates!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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