we have officially lost it.
I bet he comes in French.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
