Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
