what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
