$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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