i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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