i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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