no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
