sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
