We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
