Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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