Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
