Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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