I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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