Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
