yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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