Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
