You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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