He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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