Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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