When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
